


Super Mario Odyssey – Chapter 1: Mario’s Adventure Begins!

by TheRealRoyHarper



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 18:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13769832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRealRoyHarper/pseuds/TheRealRoyHarper





	Super Mario Odyssey – Chapter 1: Mario’s Adventure Begins!

We open our adventure with the soft breeze of a warm, sunny day. Mario is on his way to Toadstool castle once again. The streets approaching the castle are lined with streamers, balloons, and flowers. The festival has just begun in the village, and all the toads are dancing merrily. It truly is a beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom.

                Mario reaches the castle doors and takes in a deep breath. He opens the door without knocking and enters the grand chamber. At the bottom of the stairs stands the magnificent Princess Peach.

                “Peach,” Mario announces, “You bitch!”

                “Mario, what the fuck?” Peach replies quickly. “What are you doing here?”

                “Are you fucking kidding me, Mario?” Luigi enters the room dressed in a pearl white wedding gown. “On our wedding day!”

                “Shut up, where’s my money?” Mario begins to become impatient.

                “Mario, isn’t there a better time?” Peach says as she continues to change the subject.

                “No better time than right the fuck now,” Mario continues, feeling the rage burning inside him. “I won’t hesitate to burn this overrated condo to the ground!”

                “My god, bro,” Luigi interjects “What has gotten into you? Don’t you know to treat my lady with respect?” He begins to descend the flight of stairs, gracefully lifting his dress so not to step on the hem.

                “Your lady?” Mario questions, “I thought you were with Daisy.”

                “Who?” Luigi shoots back.

                “Who?” Peach chimes in.

                “Who?” says Daisy from across the chamber.

                “Never mind that,” Mario finishes, “Just give me my money and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”

                “I-I--“ Peach stutters, “I can’t.”

                “What a surprise!” Mario responds sarcastically. This wasn’t the first time Peach had stiffed him. Back in _Super Mario Bros. 3_ ™, she had offered Mario a kiss for his bravery. When he puckered his lips, eager to receive his reward, she had pulled out a Taser and zapped his right arm, laughing maniacally as she did so. Not this time. Not again, bitch.

                “We used your money on a non-refundable vacation,” Luigi explains, “For our honeymoon!”

                “That’s right,” Peach continues, “Luigi loves the spa and laser hair removal service at Shady Springs Luxury Resort Bargain Hotel!”

                “They have free valet!” Luigi adds, forgetting that they trashed his Kia Sportage last time.

                “You spent _my_ money on a shitty, run-down resort getaway?” Mario begins to fume.

                “Oh please,” Peach replies, “It’s no getaway. We can’t afford air travel because the mushroom market has been slow and the Toad population has gotten way out of hand.” Mario and Luigi shake their heads in agreement. “So we had to book our reservations at the local Shady Springs Luxury Resort Bargain Hotel here in the Mushroom Kingdom.”

                “Well, that should leave you with at least half of what you owe me, still!” Mario calculates, “Pay up!”

                “ _GASP!”_ Luigi exasperates, “That money is for my dream wedding manicure! You can’t ruin this day for me, Mario! Not again!”

                “Shut up Luigi, your nails are perfect and you know it.” Mario reassures his brother with a wink. Luigi begins to blush then rushed back up the stairs to retrieve the money.

                “You must be real happy, Mario!” Peach observes, “Thanks to you, our wedding day has started such a bummer! And we both know it’s only downhill from here…” Peach and Mario both glance up as Luigi skips down the hall, only slightly tripping on the toilet paper attached to the bottom of his shoe.

                “Well, I hope you remember this day fondly, bitch,” Mario replies, “because this is the last time you’ll see this ‘stache!”

                Both Mario and Peach stand in silence for the next two and a half minutes. What can they say? Peach has always loved Mario from the moment they met. Even when he calls her “bitch” or “woman” or “Princess” or “Toadsworth, wait, is that you, Peach? Damn, you’re wrinkly,” she feels a certain kinship she has never felt for another man, and Bowser doesn’t count as a man because he’s some kind of turtle monster.

                Mario has always thought of Peach as a powerful, self-possessed leader who is worthy of his respect. And it is her superior social stature combined with her natural biological sex that makes him feel threatened and forces him to cower behind his masculinity and belittle her by using derogatory names and gambling schemes to rob her of her wealth. Words can only attempt to describe the passionate love they both share for each other.

                Now they stand only 4 feet apart, possibly for the last and final time. They are both about to embark on incredible journeys, only without the other. For one climatic moment, they stare into each other’s hearts, feeling the emptiness of the room eclipse the emptiness of their souls. Alone here, they wait as the silence lingers. Not one sound or movement can break the tension that is suspended between their bodies and minds. Not even the sound of Princess Daisy lifting terracotta vases onto the window-sill and dropping them into her pickup truck parked outside. Only one noise has ever broken the bond between these two lovers. Only one being in the universe could distract them from their trance.

                “Okie-dokie! I found the money, but I already converted it all to Bower Bucks to use at the arcade, so you’ll need to take it to the Mushroom Kingdom Bank to have it exchanged to whatever currency you need, er--,” Luigi lost his train of thought, “what was it you need the money for again, Mario?”

                “A Train ticket,” Mario answered, “A ticket to my new home.”

                “And where might that be?” Peach asked.

“The only place I can any longer call home,” Mario announced as he walked out of the castle, “New Donk City.”


End file.
